“Wokeness is God’s gift to the radical right, not for Hannity-tier “they’ve gone too far” reasons—its runaway humanitarianism has shifted a chunk of IQ elite outside the academy by barring psychologically healthy people. Once IQ hegemony goes, the barrier to lions organising against foxes also goes”-Imperium Press

Student politics is a nightmare from which the average Burkean writer is trying to awaken with this year’s showing by our premier university only clarifying that claim.

Held mechanically to install up and coming figures in student (and consequently national) politics, these electoral tussles while being tokensitic, help give a reading as to where our future liberal Curia is veering.

Lamentably, Burkean writing staff can’t throw a stick in TCD arts block without hitting a future RTÉ director or senior civil servant (we’ve tried it), making the politics and factions that flow through the group chats of TCD in 2022 very relevant for the politics of Ireland in 2042. 

Featuring 10 candidates vying for 6 positions, the campaign has been haunted by the stormcloud of a media war between Trinity’s two campus newspapers, Trinity News and University Times, for the latters apparent laxity when handling the details of sexual assault victims.

Culminating in a rather ardent push for the reopening of nominations (RON) in the solely contested position of University Times editor, even The Burkean was aghast at the vindictiveness at which this vendetta was pursued behind the scenes.

Topicality-wise the spectre of sexual assault in light of the Aisling Murphy murder, as well as the tricky issue of erasing the name of George Berkely from the campus library due to links to the slave trade, have been salient issues during the race.

Contemporaneous Trinner students have short memories, ignoring the centuries of Anglo-supremacist hegemony Irish Catholics laboured under at TCD in lieu of the latest race racket from Stateside. 

Poor George Berkely gets marching orders while us Gaels have to walk past portraits and parts of the campus named after genocidal English monarchs in an institution that only let us in during the 19th century, and which maintained certain prejudices well into the 21st.

Far and above the most absorbing character in the race has been Gabi Fullam, presently locking horns to become TCDSU President on an explicitly anti-racist platform. 

Of mixed Punjabi heritage, Fullam acts as a sort of anti-racist Shiva in the damage she inflcts upon any instution she is in communion with.

Heralding a reign of holy terror in her stint with the Hist debating society for alleged microaggressions, while a playwright with the Trinity Drama Society she felt so psychologically aggrieved at reading Burkean articles she penned a play on the topic. 

Titled ‘Do as I Tweet not as I Do’ the production documents the experiences of a POC writer played by Fullam herself and prominently features an unnamed far right ‘incel journal’ operating out of her university. 

Highlights include Fullam breaking down into tears reading verbatim a Burkean article, as well as relationship advice given to a young woman whose boyfriend apparently sympathises with this publication.

The truth is stranger than fiction, huh? 

So far Gabi has acted like manna from heaven, promoting allegations of racist defacements of her posters as well as pushing an anti-racist platform that is peeving even the most true believer to the cause. 

Advocating for the establishment of various POC working groups as well as the abolition of the 27th amendment, Gabi firmly places the foot down on the accelerator when it comes to her open borders activism.

With an American accent and the cultural mannerism to be expected from Seattle rather than Dublin, it would be advantageous for Ms Fullam (sounds like an English surname to me) to remember the historical reality particular to the country she seeks to subvert. 

As a non-Catholic presumably of partial English descent she would have enjoyed far more privileges than the poor Papists running The Burkean for centuries in Trinity. 

I normally eschew victimhood when it comes to Irish history but all the same feel enraptured seeing such a cultural blow in dictating terms as if she was pontificating in London or Los Angeles.

Knowing her, Fullam is reading this column and should she wish to atone for her ancestral privilege over the Irish nation, may do so monetarily with the donation page of The Burkean.

Archbishop McQuaid could never smash Trinity but here’s hoping Gabi Fullam and her hardline approach to diversity will. 

Without a Burkean candidate in the mix this year Gabi is very much our girl when it comes to the SU presidency for the sake of the low hanging fruit she provides a cynical right wing publication. 

On a broader note the emergence of such dysfunctional and caustic caste of characters onto the student scene marks the point at which the left becomes totally incapacitated.

The Gabi Fullams of today will be the State administrators and cultural trend setters of tomorrow following in the footsteps of the Mary Robinsons and Ivana Baciks of yesteryear.

We here at The Burkean couldn’t have wished for better foes and will in the years to come be building up for their inevitable institutional demise, on campus and gradually the rest of Irish society.

As per the opening quote the day when lions may organise against foxes is fast approaching…

Posted by Ciaran Brennan

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